Dragon Lady Teas

waves of razors
cutting deep.

bee stings
itching
hill so steep.

wide-eyed terror
wish to flee.
bubbling up but
i can’t see.

Panic, thrashing
screaming, shout.
exhale deeply,
I WANT OUT!

calm now, sleeping
just for now.
dis-connected
flailing
HOW?

lost my center
can’t find my source.
darkness fills me
steers my course.

all is silent
no candle lit.
all alone
in my
infectious pit.

where are my people?
who gives a care?
do they love me?
do they know i’m there?

to trust my demon
an unwilling thought.
but it may save me
when i can NOT.

ohhhh the poison.
slurp it down.
wrapped in cotton
backless gown.

i am a body!
they care not for me.
they do not listen
can they NOT SEE!

but still i follow
i must this time.
my fears
my issues
memories of crime.

all stirred up
it…..all of me
from the deepest
to the surface
for me to see.

i choose death now
not life, i see
death of the past
dive now, quickly
into the river fast
swiftly moving

nows my chance
leave all on shore
including my pants.

my shirt and all and
everything i wear
cause naked i face me
and them out there.

no longer with anything
between me and them.
just skin and honesty
and trust times ten.

trust is the way
that unlocked my door
to the attic
to the basement
to the crawl space on the floor.

the only key
that works to find
the new friend, the old friend
till the end of time.

You will not desert You
not now, not EVER.
the dark weight of fear
will be now like feathers.

lifted up
and carried away
with the winds of change.
i will see the next day.

the flowers are blooming
the air is SO sweet.
my eyes are opening
a song in my feet.

to carry me forward
from here to there
beyond the bridge
that brought me here.

up above, i see them
circling round
the ravens
my people
i sink to the ground.

they call for me
i answer
but this time i hear

the whispers of the ages
flow close to my ear.

i pick them up gently
with care and with love
and kiss them so softly
my friends from above.

i’m close now
my heart beats
for all in this race
to reach fast the summit
of this gawd awful place.

we’re close now
you betcha
so close now this time.
and i tell you
my darlin’s
the weather’s
just fine.

once again, we find ourselves in water, in our emotions. we get sucked under, pulled out, we drown, we die of thirst.
water. emotions. we’re in deep. sinking fast. gripping for shore. gripping for light. gripping for……..a branch to pull us out.
we find one. we cough out the water in our lungs. we take a sweet breath of air. we’re much more comfortable in the air world, the world of our heads, our brains, our thoughts. why?
can we learn to pilot from elsewhere, grow gills, don flippers?
and swim to our depths where darkness is our candle. our boundaries are our quest (Rumi).
we are stripped. naked to the world. naked to the elements. naked to ourselves. yet we are not cold. we stand strong. we grow used to clothe-less-ness because we must. we grow used to darkness because our eyes adjust. we grow strong in our ankles because our feet must carry us, ground, connect.
we grow new eyes, new ears. ones that see the truth, hear it. we remove our glasses of illusion & look thru the kaleidoscope of truth, multi-colored and changing with the twist or our will. shaped by the colors of our fancy. fired by the desire of our heart. yes, we’re drifting somewhere new. we’re backstroking across the abyss. seeing the way as an adventure worth embarking on. creating our life with each step.

you go along thinking things are kinda the same.
but nothing will EVER be the same again.

you go along thinking you’ve known the same people forever,
doing the same thing forever……

then……they rocket in to your life.

people, animals, experiences, new perceptions, love, death,
music, books, past, future, now, fears, hopes……
rocketing in to your life.
faster than you think. you lose your grip……& it keeps coming.

coming to shake you to the core,
to shake you till you bend, shift, realize, release, and are free…..

your lives collide, intersect, merge.
and all of a sudden newness shows up.

greet it with you.
slip in to your favorite shoes,
dip in to your favorite scent.

allow change.
allow you.
spend time w/your peeps.
lots of time and often…..

draw your team near.
on this side and the other.
draw them near and welcome their presence.
treasure their support. honor who they are.
rejoice in who you are.
feel blessed for those who support you.
be a good friend. listen. be truthful.
offer it gently.

allow room in your life for newness.
allow space in your body for freshness.
allow peace in your heart for everything.

be real.

confusion?
frustration?
anxiety?
yes.
what’s happening now has never happened before.
we attempt to pull from our experiences.
we attempt to pull from what we thought we knew.
but the truth is, we are crossing a virgin river.
no human foot has ever stepped foot in it before.
it could be cold or hot?
it could be clear or dark.
it could be filled with life…..or quiet.
it could be lined with gems or bottomless mud.
it could be deep…or shallow.
it could switch directions….or sweep us away, suck us under….
or embrace us, lift us, carry us, nourish us.
yes, the river.
the new river that is not on the map, does not show up on the GPS.
it seems to pass under the radar. almost between dimensions.
not here. not there, but between.
what happens ‘between’?
……..time changes.
a minute feels like hours.
a day can feel like minutes.
a moment can sweep in and transport you.
transport you to new depths.
you can wade in the moment.
you can accomplish great things in the blink of an eye.
you can release. let go. heal. surrender. forgive. love. be.
the choice is yours.
choice. the amazing blessing of human existence.
do you choose to create the swift, dark, lifeless river lined with bottomless mud?
or
do you step in to find warmth. life. support. strength. clarity. trust.
now is up to you.
what you see happen really will.
regardless of what side you choose.
bliss is accessible to all.
allow yourself to feel worthy of it.
allow yourself to know, to believe that YOU make a difference,
that you are powerful, with the power to make change,
to be free…….
to be free……..

excerpts from the March dL newletter.

do you absorb the shock life might dish out or do you let it pass thru.
those who are absorbers must be mindful of how they process the absorbed energy.
those who let it pass thru must be mindful of how much stays behind.
each can learn from the other.

life has an impact.
absorb or pass thru?
to absorb impact is intense. you feel it fully, in all your cells. pain is frequent and sticks around till you empty out the source of it.
we are learning…..
we are finding that what worked in the past doesn’t anymore. we are navigating new terrain. there are no maps. we are the mapmakers.

to let life pass thru has its own challenges.
things happen faster. memories fade quicker.
resistance may be stronger.
resistance to what?
that is something we each must address within.
but we hold on…….and resist letting go of the
experiences.
why?

we are facing a time where the old rules don’t apply.
wring yourself out & make up new rules.
we have an opportunity for a fresh start, a ‘clean slate’.
know that you are perfect.
know that are loved as long as you love yourself.
know that the world is seeking what you have.
to add to the world what you have within
makes the planet vibrant and strong and beautiful.

maybe the earth’s shakes and shifts and washes of water are really meant to break the seal that holds back the flood waters of WHO…WE…REALLY….ARE.

maybe the disintegration of our bodies and the body of the planet is really an attempt for the light within to break thru. this light cannot be contained any longer.
its wants to be free. and in order to be free,
we have to allow it to be.

‘Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.’ Dr. Suess.

trust is in mine.
always, when i reach that point.
that point of doubt.
trust reaches out
and touches me.

and i am flooded with it.
and i swim in it.
it feels like a soak in a secluded hot spring…
deep in the mountains…..
after working hard to get there.

trust fills my cup today.
it overflow-eth.
yesterday, it was half empty.

i was frustrated w/critical people.
‘losers’……..
then the voice of my wise spirit team chimed in:
‘if, when you are critical of them, does that not make you a loser too?’
hmmm. good point.
note to self. refrain from criticism.

trust fills my cup today.
i’d like to brew an endless pot of it.
keep it on my counter.
sip it all day.
offer it to everyone.
in fact, i’d carry it around, my pot-o-trust,
filling those half empty cups to the very top.
and let them overflow-eth.